How A Toddler Learns To Use The Potty.

I recently shared about my potty training mistakes in a previous post. This time around (with baby #4), I took a step back and approached potty training very differently. I’m a reflective kind of person and after going through this phase of life with 3 previous children, I have to wonder why this time around went so smoothly. One difference was my focus. I really focused on my son’s experience, observing his progression and reactions through the entire journey.  At the end I have a new-found respect for the process and for the bright little mind of a two-year-old. If I had it to do over again, this is where I would start. This isn’t rocket science, but my thoughts and experiences may prove useful for you as you approach potty training for the first time (or the second or third or fourth).

Here are the potty training stages of progression as I observed them in our 2-year-old:

Stage 1: Our little guy was caught by surprise when he saw the little fountain flowing out of him. “Mama, pee pee!” As we began encouraging him to go to the potty, he slowly made progress in that direction.

Stage 2: Knowing that he should now go to the potty, our toddler began stopping mid-stream to call out for help. There was still a small puddle, but he was at least learning how to use those muscles to hold his urine.

Stage 3: Aha! He learned to recognize the urgency to go pee pee before it happened. “Mama, I go potty.” And he did. With just a few accidents along the way, staying dry is now the norm. He now announces to anyone within earshot, “I did! I go potty!”

Stage 4: The “subject” then began noticing a stinky substance coming from a new place. {Even though I’m calling this stage 4, our boy was obviously having poo poo accidents  along the way, but he seemed to not be focusing on it with the same intensity as he was pee pee} This was a less pleasant experience for him. Instead of the surprised look on his face, I noticed a scared expression–kind of like a deer in headlights. He would whimper, realizing he had no control of this bodily function. “Mama, oh no!” was his cry.

Stage 5: I observed a similar progression with our little guy learning to poo poo, as noted in stages 1-3. He learned to use his muscles to stop himself before finishing the job. As this happened, I would swiftly take him to the potty so he could finish and experience success. While he was pleased, he still seemed to view going poo poo as a strange experience. He kept wanting to stand up and see what was happening behind him. After all, he couldn’t see this happening–he could only feel it. He now says “Wook Mama. Wook!” He is amazed at seeing what he has accomplished.

Stage 6: Finally! (imagine a catchy tune in the background as you read) Having been dry for 3 to 5 days, our son recognized the urgency to go poo poo before it was too late and began asking to go potty ahead of time. And now he has graduated from potty training.

Notice I did not tell you my role or what strategies I used along the way. Nor did I give you any advice. That was on purpose. I’ll save that for another time. This time around, potty training was overall a pleasant experience for me as a mommy. For me, the key was to focus on my son and what he was experiencing. I found myself as a coach, not a drill sergeant. I look forward to the next post, where I’ll share with you my side of the story. For now, I hope this particular view provides some helpful insight.

I will be the first to admit that potty training is different with each child. The stages I outlined above are my observations with only one child. What have you observed in your child? Any differences or similarities you noticed? Potty training can seem like such a mysterious process. Let’s work on taking some of them mystery out of it. What have you observed in your experience so far?

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Tagged as: potty training, Toddlers