Have you been wondering when to transition from crib to big kid or toddler bed? You’re not the only one. Here is an email I received recently, along with my response.

Hi Stacie,

My husband was just asking me when we should transition to a big girl bed. My daughter is about 22 months, and although she is tall, she doesn’t seem to be interested in climbing out (although I didn’t want to wait for her to try!) I’d like to do it before my daughter tosses herself overboard! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this

MJ

Hi MJ,

We’ve been all over the place on this one. Our twins were climbers and we felt pressured to get them out of the cribs just before age 2. Big mistake, at least for us. We had a horrendous time keeping our little guys in their beds. So much so that we went back to cribs and put crib tents on. This is a solution for the climber who may not be ready for a big kid bed. If you think your little darling is in danger, but you aren’t ready to move on, try the tent idea–it’s cheaper than a new bed too.

If it’s not a matter of safety, I say wait. We may have gone to the other end of the spectrum with baby #3, but our daughter didn’t get into a toddler bed until age 3. Seems old to me when I type it, but it’s the truth. And she didn’t mind. She was not a climber and never asked for a big girl bed. We just decided to move her into the toddler bed stage. She is really great at staying in bed–except for the occasional middle of the night wander into our room.

Ask yourself…Is it a matter of safety?

Yes. Consider a crib tent if you or your climber is not ready for the bedtime chase that will likely ensue. Or move to a toddler or twin bed with appropriate safety measures like bed rails.

No. Wait! There is no rush to get your toddler out of the crib. You’ll thank me for this little bit of advice later.

Before you read this post, please be sure to read How A Toddler Learns To Potty Train. Then come back here for part two.

When it comes to potty training, I am not the expert. I am the experienced. However, experience alone does not produce an expert. Can anyone relate to that? Before you click away, hear me out. In a previous post, I talked about the stages of potty training from the perspective of a toddler. Today, I plan to give you my side of the story. Here’s what I did.

Research. Yes, even after potty training our 3 other children, I felt the need for help. I found Writer Dad’s Potty Training Power and purchased the package. One of my favorite things about this ebook package is the unlimited support that comes with it. Sean and Cindy Platt (the authors) have responded to my questions and concerns in detail via email several times and for less money than I used to spend for only a month of diapers.

Supplies. I found a potty book at Target in the dollar section. I printed out the children’s book from Potty Training Power. I bought a package of underwear, a package of Pull-Ups, the best training potty ever–simple, inexpensive, and gender neutral. Disenfectant wipes for cleaning the potty, flushable wipes, soft potty seat insert for use on the big potty.

Schedule. It is truly ridiculous that I had to actually schedule potty training, but it makes more sense than you may realize. Potty training is time consuming. It is like starting over with a newborn when it comes to the amount of attention needed. I figured that I would need at least 3 days uninterrupted by errands, visitors, or outings.

Strategy. So, here’s the part we’ve all been waiting for.

1. I presented the training potty to our little guy and told him that pee pee and poo poo go in there. He was happy to practice sitting on the potty.

2. I read him the books about potty training while he sat. Then I took his diaper off and asked him to sit down again. He did.

3. Brace yourself. I left him bare-bottomed all day! I did this for about 3 or 4 days in a row. We do have carpet and we have a steam carpet cleaner (if you don’t own one, you can borrow or rent one from home improvement stores).

4. I would ask him to sit on the potty and read books to get him to stay longer. Most of the time, this did not produce and measurable results, but I believe it was part of establishing a comfort level with something new.

5. When I saw our two-year-old going on the floor, I would remind him to use the potty and take him there (usually in the Living Room where we had quick access) without screaming or scaring him in any way. Be careful here. We don’t want our children to think going potty is scary or unacceptable.

6. After a few days of seeing him improve in timing and asking to go potty, I started putting underwear on him.

7. When my big boy succeeded in getting something into the potty, he would help me take the pan to the bathroom. Then, his special job was to help dump the contents and flush. As an added bonus, he got to wash his hands!

I’m serious. No potty charts, no stickers, no M & M’s. My older son asked me one day why I didn’t give our youngest a treat. It’s simple really. He loved helping with the pan and washing his hands, so why make it more complicated?

8. I still use Pull-Ups for nap and bedtime.

9. I began moving the training potty closer and closer to the bathroom to see if our trainee could hold it longer. Now that we have been out of town a few days, we’ve begun using the soft potty seat insert exclusively.

10. All along the way, I would give praise for each new step of success. When the little guy finished the job, we would go tell someone–brother, sister, call Daddy on the phone.

So there you have it. Our most recent potty training adventure. It was not a perfect journey. If you plan to use any of this in your home, take caution. It may not work out the same with a different child and mommy team. Just be sure to focus on what is working for your little one and go with it.

I’m sure I must have left something out. It looks way too easy. What else would you like to know?

I recently shared about my potty training mistakes in a previous post. This time around (with baby #4), I took a step back and approached potty training very differently. I’m a reflective kind of person and after going through this phase of life with 3 previous children, I have to wonder why this time around went so smoothly. One difference was my focus. I really focused on my son’s experience, observing his progression and reactions through the entire journey.  At the end I have a new-found respect for the process and for the bright little mind of a two-year-old. If I had it to do over again, this is where I would start. This isn’t rocket science, but my thoughts and experiences may prove useful for you as you approach potty training for the first time (or the second or third or fourth).

Here are the potty training stages of progression as I observed them in our 2-year-old:

Stage 1: Our little guy was caught by surprise when he saw the little fountain flowing out of him. “Mama, pee pee!” As we began encouraging him to go to the potty, he slowly made progress in that direction.

Stage 2: Knowing that he should now go to the potty, our toddler began stopping mid-stream to call out for help. There was still a small puddle, but he was at least learning how to use those muscles to hold his urine.

Stage 3: Aha! He learned to recognize the urgency to go pee pee before it happened. “Mama, I go potty.” And he did. With just a few accidents along the way, staying dry is now the norm. He now announces to anyone within earshot, “I did! I go potty!”

Stage 4: The “subject” then began noticing a stinky substance coming from a new place. {Even though I’m calling this stage 4, our boy was obviously having poo poo accidents  along the way, but he seemed to not be focusing on it with the same intensity as he was pee pee} This was a less pleasant experience for him. Instead of the surprised look on his face, I noticed a scared expression–kind of like a deer in headlights. He would whimper, realizing he had no control of this bodily function. “Mama, oh no!” was his cry.

Stage 5: I observed a similar progression with our little guy learning to poo poo, as noted in stages 1-3. He learned to use his muscles to stop himself before finishing the job. As this happened, I would swiftly take him to the potty so he could finish and experience success. While he was pleased, he still seemed to view going poo poo as a strange experience. He kept wanting to stand up and see what was happening behind him. After all, he couldn’t see this happening–he could only feel it. He now says “Wook Mama. Wook!” He is amazed at seeing what he has accomplished.

Stage 6: Finally! (imagine a catchy tune in the background as you read) Having been dry for 3 to 5 days, our son recognized the urgency to go poo poo before it was too late and began asking to go potty ahead of time. And now he has graduated from potty training.

Notice I did not tell you my role or what strategies I used along the way. Nor did I give you any advice. That was on purpose. I’ll save that for another time. This time around, potty training was overall a pleasant experience for me as a mommy. For me, the key was to focus on my son and what he was experiencing. I found myself as a coach, not a drill sergeant. I look forward to the next post, where I’ll share with you my side of the story. For now, I hope this particular view provides some helpful insight.

I will be the first to admit that potty training is different with each child. The stages I outlined above are my observations with only one child. What have you observed in your child? Any differences or similarities you noticed? Potty training can seem like such a mysterious process. Let’s work on taking some of them mystery out of it. What have you observed in your experience so far?

I get a lot of questions about what kind of books to get for a toddler. Or, I hear moms say “She just won’t sit still long enough to read a book.” I certainly know the limits of a toddler, but it is possible to enjoy a book with him. If you want to know why you should read to your baby or toddler, stop and read this post first. Here are some tips that will help when reading with your toddler.

Don’t expect a toddler to care about the plot. Toddlers usually do not have the attention span or the desire to follow a story. You may see an increased attention span and interests in stories around age 3.

Do follow the pictures more than the story. Okay, Type-A moms, this is for you especially. I lean in your direction. I get you. We want to read every word before we turn the page. Have you ever noticed how a toddler will proceed to turn every page before you have finished reading the first one? Frustrating, huh. Especially for the tot in your lap, who does not understand why you won’t let her turn the page when she wants to. Listen. Just relax and follow the pictures. That’s what a toddler cares about right now. Point out the various pictures and say the colors and shapes you see. Your toddler will learn new words and recognize new objects just by hearing your voice and seeing the picture.

Do let your toddler lead you through the book. This a delightful way to enjoy a book together. Let her choose the book and turn the pages pointing out what interests her. Ask her questions she can answer. “Where is the cow?” If it’s a lift-the-flap book, say “Can you find the dog?” “Where did Elmo go?” Don’t take over though. She’s the leader in this game.

Don’t make your toddler sit down. If the duck is skipping in the book, then encourage your little one to skip and do it with him. If Jack jumped over the candlestick, then find something to jump over too.

Do choose books with funny-sounding words. Or, make up your own silly sounds to go with the pictures. Words like “flippety-flop”, “zoom”, “tick-tock” and “hoo hoo hoooo” will get your toddler’s attention. {Daddy’s tend to be really great at this. If that’s the case in your family, watch how your husband reads a book with your child and take his lead.} Animal sounds are a huge hit too. These are sounds your toddler will try to imitate and it’s a hilarious game to play together.

Our 2-year-old is the inspiration behind this post. He has 3 older siblings and has sat through a few books in his time. He is so much fun. He loves to “read” books. His idea of reading books is to look at the pictures and turn the pages at whim–doesn’t matter if Mommy is still talking. He loves to make the animal sounds and laughs out loud when I do too. If there is an excuse to hug, poke, tickle, or giggle, it’s even more fun for him. As a mommy of 4, I have loosened up quite a bit when it comes to reading books. I figured out with our first two that it’s not about me. It’s about kindling the love of books in my children. It’s about showing them that learning is fun and should be.

And the moral of the story is…start enjoying books today! Don’t wait for the right age or the right book. Make books fun for your toddlers and their love of books and learning will follow.

What creative ways do you enjoy books with your toddler? Or, what are your challenges when reading with your toddler?

I’ve got to be painfully honest on this one. Potty training is my Nemesis. I know what some of you are thinking–those of you who have read my About Page. Yes, I have 4 children. I have trained our twins successfully, but not without trial and error. Our daughter is half-way trained and the problems we have with her are still one of my greatest stresses at the moment. I am now beginning potty training with our 2-year-old. I’d love to write a beaming report of how to potty train your toddler in 24 hours, but I’m not ready for that. Let’s take it one step at a time, okay?One thing I can offer you is a list of what not to do. If even one of my fellow mommies will benefit from my mistakes, I’ll bear them for the world to see.

When Potty Training, Do Not:

1. Start Before Your Child is Ready

2. Start Before You are Ready

3. React With Anger

4. Start and Stop and Start and Stop

5. Be Afraid of the Mess

6. Shy Away From Public Toilets

7. Expect to be Done in One Day

8. Beg Your Child to Use the Potty

9. Use Shame as a Weapon

I’m sure none of you would set out to commit any one of these potty training sins. Be careful, though, in moments of desperation. When we are weak and frustrated, we are more vulnerable to costly mistakes in parenting.

In case you missed it, check out a previous post…When Should I Begin Potty Training? This was a guest post written on how to know when your child is ready to begin training.

Today we have a guest post from Sean Platt (AKA Writer Dad).

Understanding the best time to potty train your child is fundamental to finding early, consistent success. Answers to the question of when have ten times the selection of choices of diaper at target.

“…age is never as relevant as readiness.”

Deciding when, and how to move our wee one out of the diapers and toward a new found freedom is something every parent must eventually face. Though the common timeframe offered by experts is somewhere between 18 months and 3 years, age is never as relevant as readiness.

• If your child can tell you about their dirty diaper, they are probably ready.
• If your child can articulate their need to be clean, they are probably ready.
• If you can have a conversation about potty training with your child, they have already been ready a while.

Children develop at different speeds and there is no single shining moment that burns brighter than the others. You can set your child up for the greatest success by starting their toilet training at the most appropriate time. You must be on the lookout for the right signs. It is never too early to start, potty training can begin at infancy, by starting with communication.

Though the verbal and emotional parts of potty training should begin at the earliest opportunity, there are a few particular skills your child should have before moving on to the physical.

Make sure your child can do the following:

• Sit down without support
• Run or walk fast
• Pull his or her pants up without assistance
• Provide a verbal or visual cue to let you know they need to go potty.

If your child has difficulty with any of the above, a light bit of practice will probably get them going. Again, fun is the name of the game. Run around with your child outside. Chase birds and butterflies, make sure to use prompts such as, “Let’s go,” that precede the action. Teach your child to pull their pants up and down by themselves and be mindful of the behavior displayed prior to elimination.

Does your child assume a certain position?
Does your child make any particular sounds?
Does your child’s face turn red?
Does your child retreat to a specific location?

Once you are sure your child has achieved potty training readiness, it’s time to move on to the next step, potty training preparation. 

Get more tips, tricks and potty training advice at PottyTrainingPower.com. You can also follow Writer Dad on Twitter.

I’m currently using Writer Dad’s ebook Potty Training Power. Check it out if you are ready to begin a new chapter with your toddler. By the way, if we continue with a potty training series in the near future, what questions would you like answered?

All 4 of my babies were on a predictable and easy schedule one week home from the hospital–NOT. Our first babies were twins and I stumbled around for 3 months trying to figure out what to do with them all day and night long.

There are too many opinions on the subject of baby schedules. Many experts are either at one end of the spectrum or the other–prescribing a strict schedule or none at all. I prefer a daily routine which marries the two  quite nicely. The routine our babies followed is still in place now that we have school-aged children down to a toddler.

A routine is nothing more than predictable events of the day in the same order and relatively at the same time of day. 

What’s the point in having a routine? For starters, children need to know what to expect. Babies and toddlers do not have a concept of time, but they do know (if you have a routine) that when they wake up they eat. They know that after they play for a while, they take a nap. Their bodies actually depend on this predictability. In time, you will learn to depend on your routine too. There is a natural rhythm that begins to develop when a little one knows what to expect. You’ll find there are less battles to fight in a day (i.e.. naps and tantrums).

Below is a sample routine you can use to structure your day. The main parts of the routine are sleep, eat, play. Keep these in order as best you can. The number of naps your baby or toddler takes in a day is up to you and your baby, but if you have a child age 4 or younger, he should have at least one nap. 

Morning

• wake up cuddle (unless your baby is screaming for food:)
• breakfast 
• play
• nap (for age 0 to about about 18 months) OR errands (if no nap)
• snack
• play (optional nap, for the newborns)

 Afternoon

• lunch 
• play 
• nap 
• snack
• play (optional nap for newborns)

Evening

• Dinner 
• play/family time

Bedtime routine

• bath (you may feel that bathing every other day is sufficient)
• diaper, 
• feeding for infants or milk for toddlers 
• read books/sing

Note: Don’t miss out on the sweet moments of bedtime. If you make this a nightly routine, it will last well into later childhood. Some of the most precious conversations and teaching moments have occurred at bedtime in our home. I wouldn’t trade that last hour for any other during the day.

Want to know the secret to making a routine work in your home? Don’t leave anything out. Don’t skip breakfast. Don’t skip a snack, unless baby refuses to eat. Don’t even think about skipping a nap–that’s a big one. It’s tempting, I know. You don’t need to put a time next to each event and be ruled by the clock. Just let the structure of the day be your guide and roughly think of times associated with each event.  The results will speak for themselves though. Hold off on evaluating your progress on the first couple of days. Challenge yourself to stick to a routine for one week and then evaluate.

If you have specific questions, let me know by leaving a comment below or send me a note via the contact page.

Are you struggling with how to get your toddler to eat healthy foods? As your baby starts talking and eating table food, there ensues a power struggle like no other. You have had the pleasure of feeding her what you want to feed her for months. Now, she has decided to rebel against all of it! Don’t despair. There are ways of teaching your toddler about healthy foods.

I recently had the privilege of contributing to an article about Getting Our Kids To Eat Healthy.

When you click over, you’ll find Turnitupmom, a blog I frequent regularly. Mary Jo Wieland is a mom I’ve grown to respect through her thoughtful and humorous stories of motherhood. I think you will find her blog inspiring and entertaining.

You may be familiar with the following signs of teething: irritability, drooling, sleeplessness, biting or chewing on everything, low-grade fever, diarrhea, ear pulling. We feel so helpless when our babies are in pain, but be careful about turning to medication too soon. There are many others ways to soothe sore gums without medicine.

Try some of these medicine-free teething solutions:

1. Frozen Wash Cloth: Wet a clean wash cloth and freeze it. Then, let your baby chew on it to soothe sore gums.
2. Chilled Food:  Try serving yogurt, chilled diced fruit (peaches, apples, bananas, etc.).
3. Cold Water: Give your little one a sippy with ice water throughout the day. It will help replace some of the fluid loss of drooling and loose stools as well as provide more comfort on her mouth.
4. Chilled Teethers: Simply keep a few teethers in the refrigerator. Take them out when needed. Be sure to wash them thoroughly before placing them back in the refrigerator.
5. Teething Tablets: We have used teething tablets with our children at times. They seemed to help, especially with sleeping at night.
6. Extra Attention: No matter what solution you try, your baby will likely still need extra “mommy love” during teething. Let a few things go and rock your baby, read to him, sing to him. That may be just what he needs.

We’ve been very fortunate to have kids who eat well. But we do have trouble introducing new foods now that our kids are older. We insist that they at least try a food before rejecting it, but now I have a new weapon. I’m learning how to sneak healthy ingredients into foods that my family already likes. We’ve had brownies with spinach, blueberries, oat bran, and wheat germ. This morning we had breakfast cookies with ricotta cheese, wheat germ, and whole grain cereal. We were all very impressed. Of course I didn’t tell the kids what was in it–not until they are old enough to handle the truth. And I didn’t tell my husband until he had tasted the food first:).

If your baby is at least one year old (because I assume you have introduced a variety of solid foods by this age) and has no known allergies, you may want to try some of the recipes in The Sneaky Chef books. I know many of you fellow mommies will enjoy being sneaky too. Let me know if you try some sneaky recipes.