This is a guest post from my dear husband, Todd. I asked him to give us moms some advice on how to honor dads. This was his simple, yet thoughtful response.
In honor of Father’s Day, Stacie let me share a few thoughts from the Dad’s perspective that might help you out.
#1 Don’t be afraid to communicate your expectations. If you haven’t figured it out by now, we men are not mind readers. In fact, we’re not even good at picking up hints. Remember the dating days?! Same thing applies with parenthood. Between culture, what we’ve observed from our own family upbringing, and even reading material from the parenting experts we dads can be really unclear as to what YOU expect from us in our role as fathers. Sit down and have a clear discussion about it.
#2 Remember, we’re not you (part 1). When you do communicate these expectations, keep in mind that it’s not best to expect just a clone of you. We’re unique people who play a unique role with your child. I know you wish you could be two places at once and have twice the energy,but it’s not fair for us to do exactly the same things that you do and especially not in the same way. Let us guys be guys. That doesn’t mean we can’t change a diaper (believe me, I’ve changed plenty)but it does mean that just because we’re not the most nurturing, caring, sensitive, etc. that we’re bad people or parents. Let how we were hard-wired be able to shine through.
#3 Remember, we’re not you (part 2). Because we’re not women, we don’t have some of the same abilities as you. I’ve found that Stacie is a much better multitasker than I am. She also has ways of coaxing the kids that are more effective than my methods. That’s just a couple of things. You may think, “if I can do it, he can do it” but that’s not necessarily true. Recognize our limitations. Also, consider that on some aspects of parenting, we’re a little insecure. Build our confidence through your expression of belief in us while giving clear instructions!
Well, I’m not sure I’ve unlocked any deep secrets of the male psyche but I hope I’ve given you some perspective that you wouldn’t have otherwise. Treasure the guy you’ve got and give him a Happy Father’s Day!
Here’s a previous post about daddies: Let Him Be The Daddy